Gryffindor

Pet people get it. Pets are forever family. You adopt them and if you're lucky they give you all that they have to give. Dogs are super efficient at giving it all. Cats - it's just a roll of the dice. Most of the time you are there to serve their every need (immediately - if you have not been smart enough to actually anticipate what their current need might be) and for this service you are granted the opportunity to pet them on occasion.

Usual pose

Hey look - clean laundry!

The last picture of our Gryffy

We have been very, very lucky with our pets. Our cats especially. Yes, they have all been little divas but they have also allowed us to love them and cuddle with them whenever we desire. They have always been very vocal - after all, we still should anticipate their needs without them having to ask - but they have always been patient with us mere humans because we have the opposable thumbs and they don't.

Gryffindor was a special cat from the very beginning. He was a beautiful gray cat with mysterious goldish/greenish eyes. When we first got him he was so skinny but he had these huge ears and a really long tail. We thought he would never grow into those ears but he finally did...and then he just kept growing. He was a very hefty 20 pound cat. The vet wanted him to lose weight and I wanted to look like Angie Harmon. Neither thing happened. In fact, I probably had a better chance of looking like Angie Harmon than he did of losing weight. We tried getting a leash and collar to start taking him on walks. We are all happy to still have our opposable thumbs and other digits after that miserable experiment! We measured food, took it away if he didn't eat right away - we tried several things. He was just a fat cat. That's why when he lost 5 of his 20 pounds recently it was some cause for concern. He didn't act sick nor did he look sick.

Chillin' with Paul

Gryffy loved all of us but Paul was his person. He would greet Paul when he got home from work like most dogs greet their people. He would jump on the coffee table and follow Paul and meow at him until Paul would pet him. He would stand on his hind legs so he could get even closer to Paul. This was especially weird because Paul messed with him so much. He would pull his tail, pet him the wrong way (where his hair would stand straight up), and other bothersome things, but still, he would keep going back for more.

Yesterday Gryffy was very obviously sick. He was lethargic - which for a Latham house cat is saying a great deal. He would barely hold his head up to look at us when we went to check on him. He wouldn't even look up for Paul. We thought that we could take him to the vet first thing this morning but during the night he got worse. We had him under the blanket in between the two of us. He actually layed in Paul's arms with his head right under Paul's chin. His breathing was labored and he was obviously in distress so we took him to the emergency vet. Paul bundled him in a blanket and I held him on the way. He kept turning to try and look at Paul. I think he thought Paul could fix whatever problem he was having.  Upon seeing him the vet immediately told us that he was trying to die. His kidneys and liver were shutting down. She ran blood work to see if there was something they might be able to do. There wasn't.

When the time came Paul stood right in front of Gryffy so Paul's face was the last face he saw in this life. Paul felt it when his heart stopped beating.

Now we are faced with life after Gryffy. I walk past his food bowl and can't even bear to pick it up.

He leaves behind Clue - our other cat who has been through this once before with our cat Tabasco. Clue was a lot younger then. At this very moment he is roaming the house and meowing. Animals grieve. I know they do. This is going to sound so "out there" but I'm going to say it anyway. When we got home early this morning there was a big orange cat in our yard. We feed feral cats in our neighborhood but this was not one that I had ever seen before. This afternoon I saw 2 more that I have never seen and then 2 of our regulars. I know this isn't the case but it's like the neighborhood cats have come by to pay their respects to one of their own. Crazy - I know.

We will miss Gryffy so much in our lives. Even though he would climb on the table and try to drink our drinks and eat our food. Even though he and Clue would get in fights at 3:00 in the morning. Even though when he sat on you he had to knead you so much you would almost end up bruised. Even though he would sit on your freshly washed and folded clothes (especially if they were black.) Even after all of this and more - he will be missed.

He was family.


Gryffindor - January 2005-December 2013

Old Dog...New Tricks

So we’re finishing up an old year and getting ready for a new one. Really? Already? Man, 2013 flew by so fast. I think that every year, but this time I mean it. (I say that every year too.)

I don’t like to make “resolutions.” They never work out. Not through any fault of my own, mind you, but life gets in the way of those completely virtuous things that we intend to do…and once we order pizza on January 3 it’s all over. Of course there are things I intend to do – don’t get me wrong – but they won’t be published in a list to be laughed at later.

What I do like to do is take a look at the last year and remember the things that were new and different. They don’t have to be big things, or great things, but it’s important to try new things and as much as my inertia sometimes holds me back, I did do a few of those.

1)    Assisted with building Pinewood Derby cars. This would not have happened, except Art was in China during the key Pinewood activity weeks. Despite my complete lack of knowledge in this area, I was the assigned adult for helping my sons create their first-ever derby contenders. So we attended workshops, designed and sanded, painted and decorated. Admittedly, the cars weren’t all that fast. But they looked really nice! This next year I might even do one for myself...

 

2)    Rode a horse. Confession: I’m not crazy about riding anything. And I’ve ridden a horse before, just not recently. But this was a controlled ride, on a trail in an Arkansas state park, and everything went just fine once my horse was happy with his position in line. It was fun and the kids had a great time too.

Me on a horse with no name. He had one, I just can't remember it!

3)    Got braces on my teeth. I’d been considering this for a few years (just to get them straighter), but always put it off. And since I had braces in high school, it seemed like something I’d already gotten and so I wondered if it was silly to re-do. But when I had some problems with broken teeth due to an uneven bite, well, that was enough to get me to the orthodontist. I was able to do the Invisalign, and overall it’s been pretty easy – I’ve only got a few more months to go!

4)    Went camping. This one wasn’t my idea, and in fact it was something I’d been actively avoiding for quite some time. But when there’s a “family campout” with the scout pack, and clearly nothing else on the calendar for that weekend, it happens. Never mind the cold. Or the rain the first night. Or sleeping on a concrete pad. Or latrines – which, I’m told, are very nice latrines in spite of being more like built-in port-a-potties. There were also boys having lots of fun, s’mores, and some of what my kids call “PTV” time (parent talking virus) with the other scout adults. I'm not saying it will happen again, mind you, but I do have my own sleeping bag. 

5)    Conquered the Bundt cake. Not a big thing, you say? Following one failure after another (cake not coming neatly out of the pan, or occasionally not coming out at all) I made it my mission to slay the Bundt Beast. So now I’ve got a method, some foolproof recipes, and pans I like. AND some successful results under my belt – which is more important than it sounds! I have confidence…

This one is lemon, with hand-picked East Texas blueberries filling the center.

6)    Pinned. While the rest of you have been pinning madly on Pinterest, I had tried a couple of times (unsuccessfully) to understand it. At last, I took a little time to figure it out and – just like you told me – it’s easy. And kind of fun. But, like facebook and email and other cool apps, I can see how it might eat up hours and hours of time. So I’ll have to think about how it fits into all my other electronic clutter. I don’t do LinkedIn and I don’t do Twitter, so at least I’ve drawn a line someplace. But it’s a wiggly line at best.

7)    Agreed to get a dog. This one was for the kids, of course, but a big step for me. We hadn’t had a pet since about 2006, so we’d gotten comfortable with going wherever, spending the night away, vacations without worrying about where the dog would go, and cold nights when we just worried about the plants. It’s been an adjustment – especially for allergy-prone me since we’ve had so many cold nights when she’s had to sleep in her crate in the house. But she is a sweet, funny young dog who loves hugs. Once we can get her to play ball with us, and not just by herself (which she does when she thinks we aren’t looking) I'll let you know.

This is Frida. If you were here, she would certainly want a hug.

8)    Started a blog. That one had been coming for a while…not because I’ve got any mission to save the world or share my extensive knowledge of everything with my vast public, but because sometimes it’s just good to write. And doing so has cleared a bunch of stuff out of my head that was just floating around, waiting to get out. So that’s nice. Now there’s more room for reality TV in there (not!!). It’s also been fun to see what the rest of the blog team comes up with!

Certainly, I did more than this in 2013. But looking over this list at least I feel like the old dog can learn new tricks, all the time. Why, just last week I programmed a robot. Or is it a vacuum cleaner? (It’s both. I call him Jeeves.)

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Do you ever pick up the wrong lyrics to a song, and then you're stuck with those forever, instead of the right ones?

I've done it myself, more often than I’d like to admit. To this day, when I hear that song "Every time you go away..." it's "you take a piece of MEAT with you" instead of ME. It changes the whole sentiment of the song, but it turns out I like it better that way, so that's how it goes in my head.

Christmas has been a prime time for lyric mangling at our house, and especially amusing with young children. When my sons were 3 or 4, they heard a new (to them) holiday song on the radio and began singing it in earnest. Over and over every day in the car, I heard the happy sounds of "Police La-Di-Da" going in the back seat. Repeat three times and then a bunch of jibberish. Never again will I hear "Feliz Navidad" the same way. (Later when I told them this story, they insisted that could not have happened...after taking Spanish in Kindergarten, they had learned the real words!)

Then about three years ago it was a different one. At school they must have heard or talked about the "12 Days of Christmas" -- honestly, one I'm not crazy about since it goes on and on and on. One night as we finished dinner, Trey and Brett wanted to sing it for us, but as Brett explained, it would be abbreviated to the "7 days" because that was all he could remember (relief!). The first time they performed it, the only thing we remembered was how they stopped and very dramatically sang, arms flung wide and in best operatic voice, "FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!!!!" We were hysterical for several minutes.

In later renditions we realized Brett hadn't really understood the Partridge in a Pear Tree part. Even after I explained what a partridge is, what a pear tree is, and why that might be the right lyric, he continued singing "a parge in a ginnabear tree," insisting that he could not sing it the other way. He may have liked it better because it was all his, and because we smiled when he sang it. To this day, I wonder what picture he had in his head singing it!

And just today we were driving along, listening to the XM holiday station. I wasn’t paying particular attention, focused on the obstacle course that is every road in the Metroplex these days. But then I heard a voice from the backseat say, “did he just sing ‘pay for pizza people everywhere’?” – and had to listen for a second to the song, and then translate. “No, sweetie…it was ‘pray for peace, people everywhere.’”

 

Sometimes it just works best to listen to the Muppets' versions of traditional tunes. In "Ringing of the Bells," Beaker, the Swedish Chef, and Animal join forces and the words don't matter -- which is great since they don't really use words anyway! I know it's not Pentatonix, but it's fun.

Aside from carols, Trey has been playing Beatles tunes on his guitar. You know, like “Hey Dude” (Mommy, why doesn’t that song ever finish?).  I can’t wait until he starts listening to Elton John. Hmmm...does he have a Christmas album? That would be very interesting…

I put the PRO in procrastination

Right after Thanksgiving we decided we would host Christmas at our house this year. This gave me approximately 3 weeks to clean the house which really should have been doable. In theory. However, I haven't started yet. Also, I'm on the computer typing this blog which means I'm still not doing it. At this point in time it is not even physically possible for me to get this house in any type of party condition. There now are not enough hours in the day left to do it. So, what the hell. I think I will blog!

If I work really, really hard I can get a couple of rooms in decent shape. One of the problems with procrastination is that it is always possible that something could get in the way of your plans to wait until the very last minute to do something. For example, you might end up with a hurt subscapular, trapezoidal, (and other long words that I'm basically making up because I can't remember what the doctor actually said) problem with your back. I do remember that he told me NOT to exercise. Damn. I'm not supposed to be bending and lifting. Hmm. All this means that I should not have waited until now - well now doesn't really mean now because now I'm doing this instead of that. You get me?

The moral of this story is not to put things off. Next time we decide to do something stupid like have people come to our house I will make up a schedule charting everything I should do each day to prepare for the party. I will begin this schedule at least 2 weeks out from the event.

Actually what will happen is that I will spend 2 weeks trying to make a cute template on the computer that allows me to chart my progress on the house. By the time I have the chart just like I want it I will have 3.5 hours to clean the house.

Oh well, at least I will already have the template for the next party!

A Christmas Tale

Dear readers, I think you might be ready for this story. I will warn you ahead of time that it is not for the faint of heart. It is a story of great bravery, a story of clinching victory from the claws of defeat. A story of incredible brute strength, and the will power to succeed. A sad, sad, sad, story but at least it ends... well, I will let you decide about the ending.

It happened about this time last year, on a cold, snowy late afternoon. The snow was about 6 inches thick. OK, maybe it wasn't snowing. I think it was sleeting, or was it hailing? OK, maybe the weather was alright. The setting...the parking lot of my favorite retail store - Walmart.

I was shopping for a few last minute items for Christmas. The store was so crowded I could barely maneuver my cart (did you know that the average shopping cart weighs 33 pounds empty?) through the aisles. Kids were running everywhere screaming and playing with all of the toys and leaving them strewn  all over the place. It was like trying to walk in a field and dodging the cow poop. It was terrifying. I found my few items, actually I found more than I intended to find. My cart ended up being fuller than expected. Now it was time to check out. Oh the Christmas joy. Luckily I spotted the lawn and garden area - there was no line there! Can you imagine - NO LINE! The other lines were 12 people deep. Suckers. By the way, did you know that they put the worst cashiers and the ones that speak the least amount of English in the lawn and garden department? It's true. Another Walmart employee told me. Remember that Walmart allows customers to be their own cashier so you really expect the cashier to be able to handle ordinary transactions. It is my personal experience that I really need to lower my expectations when shopping at Walmart. Looking back on it now it's possible that the guy didn't really work there - he was probably just there waiting for his wife and thought what the hell. Finally, my transaction was complete. Time to make my way to the car with my shopping cart that weighs 33 pounds empty. It wasn't empty.

When I park my car at any shopping establishment with carts I typically park a little bit further out but near a cart corral. I figure if people are parked near a cart corral they are more likely to actually put their carts up instead of being a total lazy ass and just leaving it in the middle of the parking lot so it can roll into my car and cause cart dings. So, as I was trudging through the six inches of snow - oh yeah, I forgot it wasn't really snowing.

Are you aware that if you take your cart outside of "the zone" at Walmart that the cart wheels actually lock up on you?

They are really serious about this.

The average shopping cart costs anywhere from $75.00 to $175.00. So I can understand not wanting to lose your carts. However, if you remain in the parking lot then the cart SHOULD NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LOCK!!!! You might guess what happened to me. Yes dear readers, the cart locked up about 5 aisles (or was it miles) away from my car. I WAS STILL IN THE PARKING LOT! I was not racing the cart on Central Expressway. I was in the parking lot. The parking lot of Walmart. Not Target. I wasn't pushing it to Denny's. I wasn't stealing it. I was in the parking lot. The Walmart parking lot - not even close to leaving it.

The dilemma. I couldn't leave the cart and go get my car because someone could steal all my treasures. My only option was to somehow get the cart to my car with wheels that did not roll. Did I mention that carts weigh 33 pounds empty? Mine wasn't empty. So, I picked up one end of the cart up and moved it. Then I took the other end of the cart and moved it. This was a very, very, slow arduous, laborious process full of great hardships and requiring a great deal of strength and vigor. I did this for several minutes before I had to rest to find my area of tranquility, my mental calm. Yeah right. I had to rest because the damn cart probably weighed 70 pounds at this time and I was literally inching it toward my car. Sweat was pouring off my body. After a brief repose I continued my trek the same way. One end carried, then the next end. When retelling this story someone asked why I didn't call customer service. I reminded them that I was at Walmart not Macy's or Nordstrom's. I was at Walmart.

I have no idea how long it took me to get this stupid cart to my car. I'm going to guess 20 to 30 minutes. That's 20 to 30 minutes to stew in my own anger. None of my meds or the voices in my head could help me at this point. No one else helped either. That really pissed me off too. I'm sure it was fun to watch - there might even be a youtube video of it somewhere with me fighting this cart every little step of the way. At the very end when I was almost to the car a man helped me. He said the same thing had happened to him.

Was it worth it you might ask. Well, this is one of the bargains I got that day - it was 50% off.

It now lays broken and sad in our yard. A cruel reminder of that day.

It supposedly counts down the number of days until Christmas except that you actually have to manually change the days yourself. Yeah, I'm going to do that. When the ice and sleet hit (for real this time) it fell over and broke. I'm glad it broke - I hate that sign. It mocks me.

So there it is my friends. My very own Christmas miracle. My Christmas Tale. My Walmart Christmas hell.

Gotta go, I just saw an ad for all the sales at Walmart! Maybe I can get a new Santa sign!

Let's Eat : Beef Stew

Brrrr!

Anybody else a little chilly?

For many of us, it’s winter. For some of us, that’s unusual; others were expecting it (although maybe not quite as cold as it’s been this last week!). In Texas, we’re often running around in short sleeves and even shorts as the Christmas shopping escalates. The mall might be cool enough for a jacket but the outside air usually isn’t. So this recent cold-weather blast was an excellent opportunity to experience our holiday sweaters, hot spiced cider and crock pots filled with homemade soups and stews.

At our house we had one of our favorites, Paula Deen’s Old-Time Beef Stew. Link to her version, or use this one (slightly adjusted for my family’s tastes, and with the added comfort-food layer of mashed potatoes). It looks like a lot of ingredients, but it's not much work and you may already have most of what you need.

Old-Time Beef Stew over Mashed Potatoes

For the stew:

• 2 pounds stew beef
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 cups beef broth
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 clove garlic, peeled
• 1 or 2 bay leaves
• 1 medium onion, sliced
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• Dash ground allspice or ground cloves
• 4 large carrots, sliced
• 3 ribs celery, sliced
• 2 tablespoons cornstarch

Brown the meat in hot oil. Add beef broth, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, bay leaves, onion, salt, sugar, pepper, paprika, and allspice. Cover and simmer 1 1/2 hours.

Remove bay leaves. Add carrots and celery. Cover and simmer 30 to 40 minutes longer. Combine 1/4 cup water and cornstarch until smooth. Mix with a little hot liquid from the pot and return mixture to the stew. Stir and cook until bubbly.

For the potatoes:

• 3-4 large baking potatoes
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• Milk as desired
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Sliced green onions or chives

Peel the potatoes and cut into 1-inch chunks. Boil until tender, 15-20 minutes. Drain and mash with fork, pastry blender or potato masher, adding oil and milk to get the desired consistency. Season with salt and pepper to taste; mix the chives into the potatoes if you like.

To serve, place a serving of potatoes into a bowl. Ladle stew over the top, and if you still have the chives you can sprinkle them on top. This will serve 6-8 depending on how hungry they are!

Here's the stew, garnished with a few green beans!

Now that you have a warm dinner, how about that winter playlist? It doesn’t have to be Christmas carols, although those are great for December. If you think about it, there are lots of wintery songs, appropriate whenever there is a chill in the air:

·         A Marshmallow World [nice with some hot cocoa]

·         Baby, It’s Cold Outside

·         Frosty the Snowman [we all know he was made from Christmas snow…but the song doesn’t actually say that]

·         I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm

·         Jingle Bells

·         Let It Snow

·         Sleigh Ride

·         (I Love the) Winter Weather

·         Winter Wonderland

·         …you get the idea. Note how none of these songs refer to ice. Pretty, fluffy, romantic snow is the stuff these are made of! You may also have some favorite, newer tunes so feel free to mix it up. I'm kind of stuck in a music groove that happened 40 years ago.
 

And everyone needs a little winter décor, besides that damp pile of coats, gloves, hats and scarves taking up space on a perfectly good chair. I’ve got an extensive snowman collection, and "the chosen ones" come out this time of year (which ones, and how many, just depends on the year). It’s a winter thing, but since we decorate for Christmas in December my husband has come to think of the snow-crew as a Christmas thing.

We have the same conversation every year when Christmas has passed but the decorations remain. I’ll agree that the stockings and the tree and the nativity sets all scream “Christmas” but argue passionately that the snowmen and snowflakes are “Winter,” and therefore should stay up through January. I generally win, because I’m the one who packs up the inside decorations anyway…but it’s an annual post-Christmas discussion nonetheless. I suspect that maybe he feels like their little black eyes -- and there might be hundreds of those -- are watching us.

Some of my favorites...these make it out EVERY year.

  

He, sometime after New Year's: Why are there still snowmen on the mantle?

Me: I like them. Besides, they’re winter.

He: Not really. That one is wearing a red and green scarf.

Me: They’ve all got different colors. That one has a heart, so he might be for Valentine's Day. 

He: Christmas is over.

Me: I took down the stockings, isn’t that enough?

He: Seriously. Christmas is over.

Me: But winter isn’t.

He: (sighs) I’m going to China.

Me: Ha! They’re staying out until February then…

Stay warm, everybody!

 

 

When the baby in your life already has everything they need...

Have you ever been to Toys R Us 2 weeks before Christmas? I have and it sucks. It had me wanting to run as fast as I could to Walmart. However, I didn't run. I don't know what held me there. I just kept walking the aisles looking for inspiration.

People, we do not live in simple times. A bicycle, board game, and some little stuff in your stocking just don't cut it anymore. Imagine someday telling your grandchildren that the toys you played with didn't talk. How in the world we ever learned anything as infants and toddlers without toys talking to us I will never know. Even with all this crap we are still one of the dumbest nations in the world.

Check this out:

CTA Digital 2-in-1 iPotty with Activity Seat for iPad

• Comfortable and child-friendly potty with activity stand for iPad (2nd, 3rd, and 4th generation)
• Adjustable stand securely holds and helps protect iPad while kids play
• Easy to clean with removable inner potty bowl, potty seat and splashguard
• Clear touchscreen protector guards against smudges and messy hands
• 360° Rotating stand easily switches between horizontal and vertical views

Yeah, they went there.

Did you notice the part where the touchscreen protector guards against smudges and messy hands? Smudges? Really? Those smudges wouldn't happen to be brown would they? It has a splashguard too. I tried to upload a picture of this thing but I'm too technically challenged to do so. I'm sure it is because I had to use my imagination when playing instead of having it electronically transmitted to my brain while taking a dump.

Or this:

Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Apptivity Case: iPad Edition

• Let baby be in control of the electronic while still protecting your device
• Place the device into the case, twist the locks, then your device is protected
• Offers three ways to play: roly-poly based, easel, or place
• Compatible with iPad 1 or iPad 2
• Ships in Certified Frustration-Free Packaging
• Download free Fisher-Price apps from iTunes

Uhm. Did that first line say let baby be in control of the electronic? I think there is a typo in the description because I don't understand the three ways to play. The good news is that it ships in a frustration-free package so your baby can open it right away and watch some porn on youtube. 

Don't know about you but we need another remote in our house. With the Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn remote fun responses help baby learn cause and effect. If i push this button it turns off Mommy's baseball game and she screams. Is that the kind of cause and effect they are looking to achieve? Like a real remote control inspiring early role play. (Hey honey, have you seen the remote? While you're up be a darlin' and fetch me a beer?) Is that the role play we want because I'm not really thinking up many role playing games a baby can play with a remote.

This is insane. But, back to Toys R Us. As you are walking down the aisles stuff just starts lighting up and talking. Every few feet there is another magic box that lights up and stuff starts moving and talking. Creeps me way out. Suddenly toys coming to life in Andy's room doesn't seem so far-fetched. 

One aisle had a series of interactive electronic toys. One grandmother picked up a toy drum thing and it just starts playing. She looks at me and says, "How do I turn the thing off?" Of course I had no idea short of pulling the batteries out and throwing it across the store which quickly became an option I was considering. She was thankful that this toy was not for her house. Gosh lady, who do you hate that much?

Then I picked up this cute little bugger and innocently pushed the light up driver button:

• Electronic play vehicle responds to SmartPoint? locations on Go! Go! Smart Wheels playsets (sold separately)
• Light-up driver button activates learning, music and sounds
• Perfectly sized for little hands
• Teaches the letter "F" and vehicle name while encouraging pretend play
• 9 Playful melodies and sing-along songs keep children engaged

Two things you need to notice here:

1.  Electronic play vehicle responds to SmartPoint locations on Go! Go! Smart Wheels playsets.
2. Teaches the letter "F" (Oh, I think I will have that one covered.)

As for the first item, the vehicle responds to the SmartPoint locations. Let me translate that for you. If you innocently push the little light up driver button utter chaos ensues. These damn things talk to each other! I'm standing in an aisle of these vehicles and play sets. I feel like I'm experiencing the Apocalypse. It finally quiets down and I see one man reach for the ambulance and I launch myself at him to slap the car out of his hands. He had no idea. He was innocent, uninformed, but I saved us all. Oh, and don't get me started on the toy microphone. I barely brushed past it and it started loudly playing some crappy song. Fortunately it was far enough from the drum set so that didn't start up again. I'm wondering when pets are making their nightly patrols of the house does it set these toys off? Heart attack waiting to happen.

I actually didn't buy anything at Toys R Us. While standing in one of the aisles I pulled my smartphone out and got on amazon.com. I scanned the barcode of one of the toys that didn't talk (yes, I did find some) and found it cheaper on amazon and ordered it right then and there! I may not have had a training potty with an ipad but I can pull out some tech savvy when it means saving my sanity. Not that there is much left of it to save after today's trip.

Drive-Thru Hell

Do you remember the days when you went to the drive-thru at your favorite fast food place and asked for a number 1 with a coke and that was it? Gone are the good old days. It seems all of them are now competing to be gourmet fast-food eateries with new "items" on the menu frequently.

Here's how it seems to go now:
Employee: Welcome to (blank) would you like to try our new "muwah,wha, wha" (insert Charlie Brown adult voice here because I can never understand what they are saying.)
Me: No, I don't think so. (It's possible I actually order what they are saying but who knows.) If one of the girls are with me it will go something like this:

Employee: Welcome to (blank) would you like to try our new "muwah,wha, wha"
Me: What?
Amelia: He asked if you wanted a fish and kale sandwich.
Me: God no. That sounds repulsive.
Amelia: They can hear you.
Me: I'm sorry. No, I don't want a fish and kale sandwich. Gross. I would like 2 number 1's, no onions, extra pickles, and 1 iced tea and one Sprite.

Employee: We don't have Sprite is Sierra Mist OK?
Me: Yes
Employee: Sweet or unsweet?
Me: What?
Amelia: He's talking about the tea do you want sweet or unsweet?
Me: Oh, unsweet.
Employee: Lemon?
Me: No

Employee: Lettuce?
Me: Let us what?
Employee: What kind of lettuce do you want?
Me: Uh...regular?
Employee: Iceberg?
Me: Yes

Employee: Would you like these with cheese?
Me: Yes
Employee: What kind?
Me: What kind of what?
Employee: Cheese.
Me: Uh...
Employee: Cheddar, American, Swiss, Pepper Jack
Me: One pepper jack and one cheddar

Employee: Medium or large?
Me: Medium or large what? Cheese?
Employee: Do you want the medium or the large meal?
Me: I want the regular meal.
Employee: So, medium.
Me: Yes, what the hell happened to small? This is as bad as Starbuck's.
Amelia: Mom, they can hear you!

Employee: Would you like to add bacon?
Me: Yes
Employee: Regular or black pepper?
Me: From this point on can we just assume regular for everything?

Employee: Mustard or mayonnaise?
Me: Mustard on the pepper jack, mayo on the cheddar.
Employee: What kind?
Me: What kind of what?
Employee: What kind of mustard? Dijon, honey, spicy brown, or regular?
Me: Dear Lord, did Wolfang Puck open a fast food place and I didn't hear about it?  I planned my wedding in less time than this. There are 12 people behind us, the man directly behind us is asleep and the rest of them are honking. They have no idea what they are getting into until they drive up here. I miss the days when you drove up and talked to a creepy clown. Regular. Just please make it regular or we will still be sitting here when you start serving breakfast.

Employee: Fries, onion rings, or tater tots?
Me: Dare I even try? Fries with one and onion rings with the other.
Employee: Regular, curly, or spicy?
Me: Regular. I want regular. I just want things to go back to the way they used to be!
Employee: Would you like ketchup?
Me: Is it regular ketchup?
Employee: Yes, unless you would like a special dipping sauce we have ranch, honey mustard, BBQ, teriyaki...
Me: No. Just regular ketchup will be fine.

Employee: Would you like to add a cookie for .99?
Me: No
Employee: Would you like to donate to the Red Cross?
Me: No. I want to do whatever gets me out of this line as fast as possible with at least 85% of my order correct.

Employee: OK, your total will be $21.35. Drive up to the second window please.

Do you remember when you could get 3 large tacos for .99 at 2:00 a.m.? And, what the hell is the first window for anyway?

Employee: Here is your order and your receipt. Please notice the survey at the bottom of the receipt.
Me: Not another damn survey. Who completes these anyway? Jason's gives away a free cookie and I still don't complete these surveys.
Amelia: Mom, they can hear you.
Me: OK, you might want to go wake up the guy behind me. Hopefully he's just asleep and hasn't died waiting for his turn.
Amelia: Mom, they can still hear you!

Black Friday

So I think last week I had promised a black Friday post but then my dear friend Tracy decided to have a baby. She went into labor Thursday night so Amelia and I went to their house to stay with DJ and Lily. I had planned on getting up super early and hitting all the malls and especially all the Walmart's and just shop all day - because I so love to shop especially at Walmart. Had to cancel those plans - I'm sure I missed some really good deals and hanging out with really nice, friendly, and patient customers and employees. Christmas really should be moved to a less hectic time.

So, onto my second favorite black Friday memory. I believe everyone at some point in their lives should experience black Friday - you know like everyone should experience brain freeze, root canals, or rectal exams. I realize that at times I am prone to some tiny amount of exaggeration but this probably, mostly is how things happened. 

Phone conversation a few days before black Friday:

Mom: I think we should take Katy to the Galleria this Friday to watch the Santa light the big tree.

(At that time they had a Santa that skated on the ice rink and then lit up this ginormous tree they had in the middle of the ice rink.) This may still happen I haven't been near the place since. My GPS is set to send out a loud warning if I get near it so I can employ evasive maneuvers. 

Me: What?

Mom: We should go to the Galleria and...

Me: No, I heard you I just don't understand you.

Mom: It will be fun.

Me: For who?

Mom: Katy

Me: She's 2, she doesn't even know they do this. It's not like she will miss it. I don't think 20 years from now she's going to need therapy because she didn't see some fat guy in a red suit skate around a big tree in the midst of a horde of people.

Mom: He won't be fat. He will be wearing a fat suit.

Me: This is crazy.

Mom: It will be fun. We will go early and get a good spot for watching. 

Me: OK. I will do it but I just want to go on record saying this is just crazy.

Mom: OK, I will be at your house at around 8:00 Friday morning.

Me: Ugh.

Black Friday at the Dallas Galleria (yeah, go big or stay home!):

Realize that we can't really shop there. I think at that time they might have had a card store. We could have shopped and actually bought something there. Everywhere else - uh uh. Way out of our league. Here was the plan: get to El Fenix early for lunch (El Fenix overlooked the ice) so we would have a good seat to see the show. We got there early. Got a table right there on the ice. Perfect view. We eat our lunch. Then, and I kid you not this happened.

Mom: Are you ready to go?

Me: What?

Mom: Are you ready...

Me: No, I heard you, I just don't understand you.

Mom: We need to leave so someone else can have the table. It's not fair to the waiter for us to just sit here.

Me: It's not our fault that he pulled the short straw and had to work today. Triple tip him. I'm not giving up these seats. I thought the whole point was to get here so we can watch the fat man.

Mom: He's not fat, he's wearing a suit.

Me: Oh dear Lord.

Mom: So, are you ready. We can get a spot around  the rink.

Me: No we can't. Have you actually seen the crowds? We are in a perfect spot. No one in this entire, ginormous, ridiculous place has a better view than we do right this minute. I'm not leaving.

Mom: It isn't right to keep this table occupied while so many people are waiting to get in and eat.

Me: No one standing out there actually thinks they are getting in here right now. They should have gotten here early like we did. Poor planning on their part.

Mom: We really should go.

Me: OK. I will do it but I just want to go on record saying this is just crazy.

We get up to leave and everyone stares, points, and starts talking quietly. The waiter is shocked. The first people waiting in line are shocked and ever so pleasantly surprised. I'm just bewildered. Katy has no idea what is going on other than the fact that Nanny has talked up this Santa experience to her and she is waiting to see the fat guy (I KNOW HE'S NOT REALLY FAT OK) light the huge tree. Of course we get out and there is not a single spot around the entire rink. I end up holding Katy up on my shoulders so she can see this event. I can't see a thing nor at this point do I care.

Mom: Well, I guess we really did have a nice view where we were originally.

Me - speechless. We walk 12 miles to where the car is parked. That was my one and only black Friday shopping experience. Thank heaven for amazon.com!

So, you might ask - if this was my second favorite black Friday experience then what was my FAVORITE black Friday? Well, last week of course. Ellie Clare Burnett was born a little after 6:00 a.m. last Friday. I can't think of a better black Friday experience than holding a newborn baby. When Tracy told me she was pregnant I was shocked. I thought good grief, you have 2 perfectly good kids that I already adore - I don't think I can handle another one. Of course the minute I saw her I was in love with her. The heart just has a way of growing doesn't it?

However, even as a light was brought into their world another one was dimming. Their sweet dog Scruffy passed away this morning. He had a long and very happy life and will be sorely missed by everyone that knew him. I only knew him for 5 years but my heart is broken to lose this little guy. Congratulations and condolences for the Burnett's during this happy and sad time in their lives.

I hope each of you are enjoying this holiday season and have the time to reflect and remember the real reason for the season, Christ our Saviour the greatest gift ever given.

December 7...and Infamy

Wow. It's hard to say anything "new" about the events of 72 years ago today--that unforgettable attack on Pearl Harbor. Amazingly, there are still survivors who come together each year to commemorate the event. Sadly, as many of them reach their 90's, these reunions get smaller and more poignant on each anniversary. We don't see much in the media unless it's a "big" anniversary, which we'll have in three years...but how many survivors will there be by then?

I remember being at Pearl Harbor in 2001, just a couple of months after 9/11 and right before the 60th anniversary. It was just about the final stop on our week-plus trip to Hawaii. We'd been to Kauai and the Big Island, so we'd flown several times during that week. Each airport was heavily secured, filled (it seemed) with military men carrying huge guns for our safety. It was alarming rather than comforting. Visiting Pearl Harbor was something we really wanted to do, although we had no idea what it would be like. Out of respect, or curiosity, or patriotism? I'm not sure, but it was important to go there.

The thing that struck me most was the quiet, no matter where you were, even in the gift shop. It was like everyone there was just overcome with the hugeness of what had happened. Most of us weren't yet born when the attack occurred, but of course we'd heard about it our whole lives. And there we were. It's just a harbor, with water and boats. But when you get on the shuttle boat out to the memorial, and you see the oil still seeping up from the wreckage below...it's overwhelming. You learn that something like 1000 victims are still on the USS Arizona, beneath where you stand. Even more moving are the veterans who volunteer there and who can remember vividly the exact moment when it all started. They're there to answer questions, but somehow it's hard to say anything except a quiet "thank you" and solemnly shake a weathered hand.

I can't imagine what that day must have been like, either for those on the ground at the harbor or for those at home hearing the news on the radio. How terrifying not to know about loved ones...how horrible to see the pictures later. (And you have to wonder, how different was it from the "war trigger" we all can remember -- the 9/11 attacks, where we watched the horrific events live on television? Of course, Pearl Harbor was a military target, unlike the World Trade Center, but there are certainly comparisons to be made.)

If you visit Hawaii, please make time to visit the memorial. It's sobering, fascinating, and hugely important. And something you won't easily forget! Now I think I'll go watch the news and see if they cover the story...

 

This is one of the most-seen pictures from the attack. At the site, it's available on postcards.

Let's Eat : Kenny's Cookies

Sometimes you have a recipe that's a real treasure. It's easy, consistently delicious, versatile and everybody loves it. If you're lucky, the recipe has a history and brings back memories whenever you make it.

Kenny's Cookies is "that recipe" for me. Hand-written on two index cards with post-it notes pasted all around it in an old-style sticky-page photo album, this is my go-to cookie recipe. I got it from a friend (that was Kenny -- surprise) years and years ago, probably in the late 80's.

Here's the recipe, along with my tips:

Kenny's Cookies

• 1 lb butter, softened
• 2 C brown sugar
• 1 1/2 C granulated sugar
• 3 eggs (2 eggs for a half-recipe)
• 2 t vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 t baking soda
• 1 1/2 t salt (optional)
• 6 C all-purpose flour, or use a combination of white whole wheat and AP flours
• 2 12-oz bags chocolate chips
• 2 C nuts (optional)
• 1 handful coconut

1. Cream butter and sugars.
2. Add eggs, vanilla, soda and salt.
3. Add flour, 1 cup at a time.
4. Stir in chocolate chips, nuts and coconut.
5. You can make these very large (golf-ball sized spoonfuls) or smaller (I use a medium cookie scoop). Place on ungreased cookie sheets and bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes. If you prefer a soft cookie, remove from oven when just starting to brown on the edges. They're also good when a little more brown, but they won't be as soft.

It's easy to get creative with these -- there are about 6 cups of add-ins, which can really be any combination of chips, nuts, seeds, oatmeal, dried fruit...whatever you like. The coconut can be omitted, but it's really good if you like coconut!

This recipe makes a lot of cookies (the exact number varies depending on size) so if you don't need them all, shape the dough and freeze it to bake later. They just bake a minute or two longer, straight from the freezer. You'll be delighted when you need to bake a couple dozen cookies in a hurry! A half-recipe works just fine too, using 2 eggs as noted above...but I usually make the full batch of dough.

These are still warm...

For Christmas, I like to use a combination of dried cranberries and white chocolate chips, and sometimes add walnuts or pecans. They're pretty without having any food color, and make great gifts too.

Ironically, in recent years Kenny has trained for and completed an Ironman triathlon, and cookies like this may not be in his training diet. I suspect he wouldn't even remember giving me this recipe. But every time I pull out the old recipe album, I think of good friends and casual get-togethers...before grown-up responsibilities and kids had really settled in...and I'm glad the taste of a cookie can bring that back for a few minutes!