The Trophy Generation Stumbles Into Employment

Nope, you LOST and if you didn't have fun then you lost twice.

When I was growing up I played sports, mainly softball. The way it worked was if you won - by that I mean you WON more games than your opponents you were declared the winner and you got a trophy. If you didn't win and by that I mean you LOST more games than your opponent then you didn't get a trophy. Now here's the tricky part. If you wanted to get a trophy you MADE your parents go to City Hall and demand a trophy for you (back in my day our parents did what we told them to do) and if the mayor didn't agree to this fabulous idea then everyone protested until the mayor resigned and you got your loser trophy. Hahaha! I'm picturing my mom as I told her she had to go to City Hall because her wittle dumplin' didn't get a trophy for losing.

No, instead if you wanted a trophy you tried harder, you practiced more and you might be the champs next season but then again you might not. It was actually possible to get through your adolescence WITHOUT a trophy. I know, I still have nightmares thinking about it. Oh, and guess what? In order to win that championship you played to win, that means the coach played the kids with the most skill so the team had the best chance of winning. If you rode the bench all year then you either needed to practice more or at the END of the season you quit and found something else to do. I know, harsh isn't it? By the way, when you got the bright, shiny trophy it was really just a piece of plastic that I think they spray painted gold but it was beautiful and you EARNED it. You were the best and you got your team picture in the local newspaper and hopefully you didn't gloat about it but you probably did,

At some point in the 90's people lost their ever loving minds and determined that LOSING would hurt little Blayde's self-esteem so we gave him a shiny, gold trophy for showing up. The parent's paid extra so it was an amazing trophy complete with your name and your actual picture on it. Fast forward to the here and now and your little champ has a job (miracle of miracles.)

Elizabeth (Blayde's boss)
Blayde: Liz (she's told you numerous times her name is Elizabeth), I'm going to need Friday afternoon and all day Monday off. My bro's are coming to town and we are gonna PARTAY all weekend! I need tomorrow afternoon to prepare and Monday to recover.
Elizabeth: Blayde, we have a deadline to meet so we will be working all weekend.
Blayde: I can't work on weekends, especially when my bro's are here.
Elizabeth: Blayde, when I hired you I explained that sometimes weekend work is required.
Blayde: Wait, what? You were for real about that?
Elizabeth: Positively for real.
Blayde: That really doesn't work for me man.
Elizabeth: If you want to work for me then it's required.
Blayde: Do I get overtime pay for this man?
Elizabeth: You are salaried therefore you don't earn overtime. Besides, overtime implies that you actually worked over the normal 40 hour work week which you clearly haven't done since you began employment.
Blayde: Weekends are my down time man. Like, I need to destress and get real.
Elizabeth: I thought maybe your down time occurred when you arrived every morning at 9:30 or when you were hanging out at Hayley's desk, or over your 2 hour lunch break. Remember, all of the things we talked about when it was necessary for me to give you a written reprimand last week?
Blayde: But, man, I was like the President of my fraternity. I should get more respect around here.
Elizabeth: Around here, respect is earned. You need to decide if our company is really the best place for your "services."
Blayde: Dude, don't fire me. You know how hard it was to get this gig? I'm a Mizzou grad man, it was like almost impossible.

James (Braxlee's boss)
Braxlee: Jimmy (he's told you numerous times to call him James) Michael TOLD me to have a Merry Christmas!
James: Oh God.
Braxlee: OMG! Did you just say God? Like, I can't believe you said God in my presence! You absolutely know I'm an atheist. Like I'm going straight to HR about this. This is not a safe place for me. I need to go home now and be vulnerable. Like OMG,  I just can't even right now. Oh, and like someone put a turkey sandwhich in my fridge!
James: The other fridge was full, I'm sure it won't happen again.
Braxlee: But I'm a vegetarian, I can't have meat in my fridge, I need a new one.
James: Braxlee, we aren't buying you another refridgerator because someone put a turkey sandwhich in "your" fridge.
Braxlee: Did you just roll your eyes? That's a micro-aggression! In college, if someone rolled their eyes at us we got to go to a safe place. I need a safe place.
James: Maybe you should go home and possibly stay there. Our company might not be the best fit for you.
Braxlee: Like OMG, are you trying to fire me? I can't even. I'm calling my dad.

That's our future ladies and gentlemen. We created little monsters. It started with trophies and lord knows where it will end. OMG! I didn't mean to say lord. I hope that didn't offend you. It was lower case lord, like not the big L!

What's Everybody Doing?

There's a kid at school whose parents I'd like to meet.
This youngster is causing all sorts of unrest around our house.
His name? Everybody. I've heard more about him than I care to know.
Maybe your kids know him?

Entertainment and Electronics (the most important topic for tween boys):

• Everybody has a television in his bedroom.
• Everybody has a DS, and he even sneaks it to school in his backpack.
• Everybody plays video games after school, all he wants.
• Everybody's read The Hunger Games. He has seen the movies, too.
• Everybody plays Call of Duty and other M-rated games.
• Everybody has his own cell phone. With a data plan.
• Everybody's seen Ted.

Other:

• Everybody gets flaming hot Cheetos, every day, in the cafeteria. If he doesn't have those, he brings in a big bag of Takis.
• Everybody throws away the school-lunch vegetables.
• Everybody rides in the front seat.
• Everybody drinks soft drinks for breakfast.
• Everybody says "those" words.
• Everybody cuts the corners when he's running laps.
• Everybody wears shorts to school when it's 40 degrees outside.

If you haven't guessed, I hear about these because Everybody's life is so much better and cooler than ours. I've resisted asking the clichéd Mom question -- "if Everybody jumped off a cliff..." because I don't really want to hear the answer. 

My kids are just 10. They're too young to fully understand the reasons why we don't do the same things Everybody does. So I get the enviable role of making many unpopular decisions around here, like not stocking blue Gatorade or soft drinks in the fridge. Like blocking content on the TV and computers, and limiting screen time. Enforcing chore time before the fun stuff. Insisting that there's no SpongeBob on the weekends (that's a personal thing -- I can't stand the sound of it!). These are the kinds of rules that unlimited-do-what-you-want Everybody doesn't have. Don't get me wrong -- we don't live some kind of sequestered, deprived existence. Just everything in moderation, and in its own time.

Why not just ease up and follow Everybody's lead? Part of it, I think, is that while some of these are (in my opinion anyway) basically unhealthy choices, others represent adult activities that distract from being a kid. If you've already seen the R-rated movies and played the M-rated games as a young child, what will you find amusing as you grow older and become an adult? If you're tied to a screen during all of your free time, how will you learn to play soccer? If you don't learn healthy eating habits as a youngster, won't it be twice as hard to learn them later? As someone who has been an adult for a loooong time, I feel qualified to say that there is plenty of time for the grown-up stuff...and not nearly long enough to just be a kid.

As I recall, when I was a kid Everybody was in school with me too. But it seems like that child was a lot more harmless, back then. Everybody wore Calvin Klein jeans and she had a phone in her room. I think that was it.

I think I prefer another kid I've heard about, Nobody. Nobody wears a coat on cold days. Nobody loves vegetables. Nobody sings in music class. Nobody does the extra credit assignment. Yes, that's my kind of young person!

The boys go back to school this week after a long winter break away from Everybody. Gee, I can't wait to find out what he got for Christmas. And what he saw...and played.

Confessions of a former bully

I can remember leaving the hospital with our first child Katy. I looked at her and thought, I have no idea what I'm doing. We were her whole world. She was completely dependent on us for survival. You need a license to drive and to hunt but not for parenting. They let anyone be parents but unfortunately not everyone should be a parent.

Recently a beautiful young girl just days shy of her 13th birthday jumped to her death at an old cement plant. She had been bullied relentlessly through social media. Girls kept telling her to kill herself and she finally did. Her mom had done all she could. She reported it to the school,the police, and she even changed schools. Social media follows you everywhere. One of the bullies has shown absolutely no remorse. It's no surprise that her step-mother is a bully herself. I cannot imagine what that poor child was thinking when she climbed to the top of the platform.She didn't have any hope and could not bear her future. When you are a teenager - everything is a big deal. As adults we can say, "This too shall pass" but a child can't see that far into the future. They can't see that it will get better.

I don't think these anti bullying campaigns are working. It doesn't reach the right audience. Parents must be the ones that stop this. The schools can help but they can only do so much. When our girls were allowed to get email and Facebook accounts they had to give us their passwords and they had to be friends with us on Facebook (much to their embarrassment.) We told them at any time we could get on their email account and check what they were sending and receiving. We never did because we trusted them.

When I was in junior high my favorite class was PE. I loved it! My favorite thing to do was play dodgeball. I showed absolutely no mercy. I can remember actually knocking girls down while playing. I can also remember yelling, "get up you big sissy!" There also was a girl (I don't remember her name) but she had a lisp. I made fun of her a lot. I called her a big sissy too but said it with a lisp. To this day I am ashamed of myself for being so horrible.I was a good kid - but that was a terrible and inexcusable thing to do. I can't imagine how this must have made her feel. However, if my parents knew that I was doing this I would have been in big trouble. I definitely would have had to apologize to the girl and her parents and my parents probably would have grounded me. I most likely would have to sit out dodgeball and get zeroes for the day. I also would have gotten the, "I'm disappointed in you" speech. That would have cured me right away.

The parents have to be the ones that stop this. Parents that are committed to raising good children. Children that don't bully other children and parents that don't bully their children. The solution may be to hold the parents responsible for these deaths and send them to jail. That is what the Sheriff in this latest suicide case is trying to do. Maybe when people see that they could go to jail for things their children are doing they will monitor their online activities and pay more attention to them. Maybe they will actually parent their children. I hope and pray that is true.