Merry Christmas!

Hey, did you know it's Christmas?

Yeah, me neither. By my calculations we've got 51 days. Well, maybe 48 since I need at least three days of sheer panic and waking up in the middle of the night knowing, positively, that I've left a thousand things undone. A thousand perfect, Martha things that would beautify my home, making it smell of cinnamon and wassail (??) while aglitter with charming coordinated decorations. At least three nights when I wake with a start, sure that the oven is still on with adorable gingerbread cookies in it, charred and inedible.

Welcome to my holiday nightmare...

Every year at this time -- when I'm getting excited about Thanksgiving, deciding which pies I'll make, arranging the pumpkin-scented candles, and pulling out sweaters (since the weather finally cools off around Halloween) -- retailers are making sure I can't go anywhere without their constant reminders that "it's not too late!" to get ready for Christmas. OF COURSE it's not too late -- it's November 4. Good grief. I'm not stupid -- they've got plenty of stuff. Way too much. Shipping is pretty fast if I need it. In a pinch I could actually visit the mall, something I normally avoid like Brussels sprouts. And I don't have to do any shopping before I have my turkey and cranberries and oyster dressing.

We've all already seen the signs:

• holiday music pumped into stores and elevators,
• television commercials hawking the latest "cool" toys,
• ads for holiday movie marathons,
• festive toy catalogs in the mailbox,
• flyers on the front door from more than one local church, asking that we "save the date" for their Christmas pageants.

At Michael's last week, the store was naturally overflowing with every Halloween thing you might need or want, plus a few things you could never even imagine needing or wanting. Yesterday it was magically a Christmas wonderland. Now with a place like Michael's I cut them some slack -- after all, if you're crafting then you do have to start ahead of the holidays. But I was at Kohl's maybe a month ago, and they already had a corner set up with a sparkling tree, plenty of ornaments, and various red-and-green home décor. Really?? Are people buying these things in early October? And that's not as bad as the grocery stores, some of which already have decorated cookies available for your holiday parties. Yum.

I can't even raise an eyebrow in response to Black Friday. The obese newspapers full of ad after ad after ad, all the "sneak peeks" and retailers opening ON Thanksgiving (so wrong). To me, this is one of the best days of the year to stay home, reheating leftovers and trying to remember where I've stored the garlands. The one shopping event I do attend is the day (whose name I can't even remember) when everyone offers free shipping. I absolutely love free shipping. One reason I like that one is it comes after Thanksgiving...

Please don't get the wrong idea -- I love the holidays, with all the baking and wrapping and music and silly earrings and twinkly lights. I watch all the specials and replay movies like "White Christmas" and "It's a Wonderful Life" every year, forcing my family to join in. We drive around light-looking and make gingerbread houses. But I do prefer my holidays in the right order, and we need the weeks before Thanksgiving to count our blessings and enjoy a little calm before the storm of the official holiday season hits full force. Is that too much to ask?

There are so many reasons to watch White Christmas again (at the right time)...this is just one!

Another is the astonishingly gorgeous wardrobe worn by Rosemary Clooney. But that's a whole 'nother post.