I attended college on a full academic scholarship, to this day I don't know how I won it other than there were not that many applicants. My parents were obviously thrilled because they wouldn't have to pay for college.
My first major was Business Administration, then I took Business Math, and knew it was time to move on. I switched to Social Work, yikes. Too depressing. Then there was something else that I don't even remember (the counselors knew me by name), then I settled on an All-Level Education degree in Physical Education and English because yeah, that was a GREAT idea. My student teaching experience was terrible, and the degree was worth less than the paper the diploma was printed on, but at least it was FREE, and I had a degree!
When Paul and I had kids we assumed that they would attend college, it was a given. Katy went to college and then got a job, exactly like she was supposed to do. She's not working in the field that she received her degree in, but that often happens. She's successful, financially independent, and happy.
Amelia did exactly what was expected of her too, she went off to college after high school graduation. Some students know what they want to do when they are still very young, for others it takes longer, or in my case, I never figured it out. She started in Nursing and then switched to Computer Science. Midwestern State did not have a good CS department, so she returned to Dallas, rented an apartment with two other girls, and attended UTD as a CS major. Then, her world turned UPSIDE DOWN! She had two major surgeries within 3 months of each other, one of which was retina detachment. She also had an illness that took a long time to diagnose and even with medication it still troubles her. She lost two grandmothers in less than a year and is now facing cataract surgery next month. I'm not trying to make excuses for her, but good grief, she's had a rough time of it.
When I discovered that Amelia wanted to quit school, I was unhappy and disappointed. I knew it was a terrible mistake that she would regret. That was NOT the plan that we had in mind for our girls. That was not what EVERYONE else was doing. What will people think?
I can tell you what people think; she'll never find a good job, she's smarter than that, why did you allow her to quit school, she didn't try hard enough, she will never earn over minimum wage and won't be able to support herself (she is supporting herself, and she is making well over minimum wage thank you very much), and she'll always hold dead-end jobs if she gets hired at all. The lack of support from friends AND family was astounding. People judged not only her, but Paul and I for this egregious (was that an SAT word?) lack of commitment.
Amelia and I went out to lunch after my mom's burial, and she explained to me how she felt about college. She had taken several courses that she hated and ended up dropping because they weren't the right fit and she didn't want to waste money trying to find it. College is expensive y'all, I mean really costly, and I appreciate that she realized at this time, it's not right for her. Will she ever return to college? I feel like she probably will, but she wants to work for a while and find a degree that is relevant to her job. If she never returns, that's ok with us. Above all else we want our girls to be financially independent and happy. Isn't that what all parents want for their kids?
Leaving school was the right thing for her, as soon as she quit, she became a different person. I had not realized how stressed and unhappy she was at school. Amelia is the nicest person I know. She's kind, compassionate, caring, and loving. These are qualities that cannot be taught at any level and are traits that should count for something in her life, in my opinion, they're more valuable than a college degree. I'm not dissing college at all. It can be a critical part of growing up and obviously for specific careers it's required. But, it's not for everyone, and I believe in her, and I know she will make the right decision for HER.
So the next time you look down on someone for not doing what is expected, check yourself. We are not all the same, the world would be boring if we were.
Excellent perspective on this, Bravo Patty! College is not for everybody and having a college degree does not guarantee you'll get a well-paying job. It is important to do what you love.
ReplyDeletePatty, thank you for sharing your thoughts. You should be a writer. I want to share about my three children and college. My oldest when to college. He knew exactly what he wanted to do. He played Tuba and got a music degree from NTSU. Sounds good. Now he teaches second grade and loves every minute of it. Sold his tuba when his second child was born, has not played since and she is 14.
ReplyDeleteMy second did not ever like school, could not wait to get out and would not continue her education. She got a cosmotology degree in high school. What are people thinking, my daughter is a hair stylist. After two years, she decided there may be something better than standing on her feet all day cutting hair. She went to college and got a business computer degree and is happily employed in that field.
My youngest thought college took too much time that he could actually be making money. He took some courses at community college but didn't like it. He lucked on a job working for Highland Homes. He has been there twenty-two years makes more money than the rest of the family combined. He is the one that Highland sends out to colleges to recruit new people.
Who knows that God has in the plans for them. Let go and let God.
BTW - Amelia is the sweetest and kindest girl I know. She is an absolute angle. I wish her the best in what ever direction she goes.