The Trophy Generation Stumbles Into Employment

Nope, you LOST and if you didn't have fun then you lost twice.

When I was growing up I played sports, mainly softball. The way it worked was if you won - by that I mean you WON more games than your opponents you were declared the winner and you got a trophy. If you didn't win and by that I mean you LOST more games than your opponent then you didn't get a trophy. Now here's the tricky part. If you wanted to get a trophy you MADE your parents go to City Hall and demand a trophy for you (back in my day our parents did what we told them to do) and if the mayor didn't agree to this fabulous idea then everyone protested until the mayor resigned and you got your loser trophy. Hahaha! I'm picturing my mom as I told her she had to go to City Hall because her wittle dumplin' didn't get a trophy for losing.

No, instead if you wanted a trophy you tried harder, you practiced more and you might be the champs next season but then again you might not. It was actually possible to get through your adolescence WITHOUT a trophy. I know, I still have nightmares thinking about it. Oh, and guess what? In order to win that championship you played to win, that means the coach played the kids with the most skill so the team had the best chance of winning. If you rode the bench all year then you either needed to practice more or at the END of the season you quit and found something else to do. I know, harsh isn't it? By the way, when you got the bright, shiny trophy it was really just a piece of plastic that I think they spray painted gold but it was beautiful and you EARNED it. You were the best and you got your team picture in the local newspaper and hopefully you didn't gloat about it but you probably did,

At some point in the 90's people lost their ever loving minds and determined that LOSING would hurt little Blayde's self-esteem so we gave him a shiny, gold trophy for showing up. The parent's paid extra so it was an amazing trophy complete with your name and your actual picture on it. Fast forward to the here and now and your little champ has a job (miracle of miracles.)

Elizabeth (Blayde's boss)
Blayde: Liz (she's told you numerous times her name is Elizabeth), I'm going to need Friday afternoon and all day Monday off. My bro's are coming to town and we are gonna PARTAY all weekend! I need tomorrow afternoon to prepare and Monday to recover.
Elizabeth: Blayde, we have a deadline to meet so we will be working all weekend.
Blayde: I can't work on weekends, especially when my bro's are here.
Elizabeth: Blayde, when I hired you I explained that sometimes weekend work is required.
Blayde: Wait, what? You were for real about that?
Elizabeth: Positively for real.
Blayde: That really doesn't work for me man.
Elizabeth: If you want to work for me then it's required.
Blayde: Do I get overtime pay for this man?
Elizabeth: You are salaried therefore you don't earn overtime. Besides, overtime implies that you actually worked over the normal 40 hour work week which you clearly haven't done since you began employment.
Blayde: Weekends are my down time man. Like, I need to destress and get real.
Elizabeth: I thought maybe your down time occurred when you arrived every morning at 9:30 or when you were hanging out at Hayley's desk, or over your 2 hour lunch break. Remember, all of the things we talked about when it was necessary for me to give you a written reprimand last week?
Blayde: But, man, I was like the President of my fraternity. I should get more respect around here.
Elizabeth: Around here, respect is earned. You need to decide if our company is really the best place for your "services."
Blayde: Dude, don't fire me. You know how hard it was to get this gig? I'm a Mizzou grad man, it was like almost impossible.

James (Braxlee's boss)
Braxlee: Jimmy (he's told you numerous times to call him James) Michael TOLD me to have a Merry Christmas!
James: Oh God.
Braxlee: OMG! Did you just say God? Like, I can't believe you said God in my presence! You absolutely know I'm an atheist. Like I'm going straight to HR about this. This is not a safe place for me. I need to go home now and be vulnerable. Like OMG,  I just can't even right now. Oh, and like someone put a turkey sandwhich in my fridge!
James: The other fridge was full, I'm sure it won't happen again.
Braxlee: But I'm a vegetarian, I can't have meat in my fridge, I need a new one.
James: Braxlee, we aren't buying you another refridgerator because someone put a turkey sandwhich in "your" fridge.
Braxlee: Did you just roll your eyes? That's a micro-aggression! In college, if someone rolled their eyes at us we got to go to a safe place. I need a safe place.
James: Maybe you should go home and possibly stay there. Our company might not be the best fit for you.
Braxlee: Like OMG, are you trying to fire me? I can't even. I'm calling my dad.

That's our future ladies and gentlemen. We created little monsters. It started with trophies and lord knows where it will end. OMG! I didn't mean to say lord. I hope that didn't offend you. It was lower case lord, like not the big L!