We are not all the same...

I attended college on a full academic scholarship, to this day I don't know how I won it other than there were not that many applicants. My parents were obviously thrilled because they wouldn't have to pay for college.

My first major was Business Administration, then I took Business Math, and knew it was time to move on. I switched to Social Work, yikes. Too depressing. Then there was something else that I don't even remember (the counselors knew me by name), then I settled on an All-Level Education degree in Physical Education and English because yeah, that was a GREAT idea. My student teaching experience was terrible, and the degree was worth less than the paper the diploma was printed on, but at least it was FREE, and I had a degree!

When Paul and I had kids we assumed that they would attend college, it was a given. Katy went to college and then got a job, exactly like she was supposed to do. She's not working in the field that she received her degree in, but that often happens. She's successful, financially independent, and happy.

Amelia did exactly what was expected of her too, she went off to college after high school graduation. Some students know what they want to do when they are still very young, for others it takes longer, or in my case, I never figured it out. She started in Nursing and then switched to Computer Science. Midwestern State did not have a good CS department, so she returned to Dallas, rented an apartment with two other girls, and attended UTD as a CS major. Then, her world turned UPSIDE DOWN! She had two major surgeries within 3 months of each other, one of which was retina detachment. She also had an illness that took a long time to diagnose and even with medication it still troubles her. She lost two grandmothers in less than a year and is now facing cataract surgery next month. I'm not trying to make excuses for her, but good grief, she's had a rough time of it.

When I discovered that Amelia wanted to quit school, I was unhappy and disappointed. I knew it was a terrible mistake that she would regret. That was NOT the plan that we had in mind for our girls. That was not what EVERYONE else was doing. What will people think?

I can tell you what people think; she'll never find a good job, she's smarter than that, why did you allow her to quit school, she didn't try hard enough, she will never earn over minimum wage and won't be able to support herself (she is supporting herself, and she is making well over minimum wage thank you very much), and she'll always hold dead-end jobs if she gets hired at all. The lack of support from friends AND family was astounding. People judged not only her, but Paul and I for this egregious (was that an SAT word?) lack of commitment.

Amelia and I went out to lunch after my mom's burial, and she explained to me how she felt about college. She had taken several courses that she hated and ended up dropping because they weren't the right fit and she didn't want to waste money trying to find it. College is expensive y'all, I mean really costly, and I appreciate that she realized at this time, it's not right for her. Will she ever return to college? I feel like she probably will, but she wants to work for a while and find a degree that is relevant to her job. If she never returns, that's ok with us. Above all else we want our girls to be financially independent and happy. Isn't that what all parents want for their kids?

Leaving school was the right thing for her, as soon as she quit, she became a different person. I had not realized how stressed and unhappy she was at school. Amelia is the nicest person I know. She's kind, compassionate, caring, and loving. These are qualities that cannot be taught at any level and are traits that should count for something in her life, in my opinion, they're more valuable than a college degree. I'm not dissing college at all. It can be a critical part of growing up and obviously for specific careers it's required. But, it's not for everyone, and I believe in her, and I know she will make the right decision for HER.

So the next time you look down on someone for not doing what is expected, check yourself. We are not all the same, the world would be boring if we were.

Side Effects

I take quite a few medicines, but I refuse to read the side effects, I know the power of suggestion is great, so I ignore them. It has been increasingly difficult to do so because they have commercials that list every possible side effect, like, diarrhea (does anyone actually know how to spell this word?) constipation (I REALLY feel like I need to poop but then I'm afraid I'll get there, and nothing will happen.) Death, always death, dizziness, fatigue, joint pain (that's what I'm taking it for!), blurred vision, diplopia, drowsiness, headache, tremor, rapid weight gain (of course), abnormality in thinking (that explains a LOT,) confusion (ditto), speech disturbance, vertigo, xerostomia, increased appetite (can't catch a break), twitching - look at my eye twitch, and farting. Well, maybe it says passing gas, whatever. 

Paul heard these side effects one day and said why in the world would anyone take something like that?

Uhm, I do, but I've never known all the side effects before, can you go get the thermometer, I don't feel well. I would go get it but I've got a headache, my vision is blurred, I can't really focus, and can you make me a sandwich, I'm starving. 

No, I'm not doing any of that, you heard those side effects, and now you have them. It's all in your head.

No, it isn't. How would you know, have you ever had diplopia before? 

Yes, it certainly is and no, I've never had diplopia, and neither have you. You don't even know what it means.

It means you're allergic to dip. 

You love dip.

I know, that's what makes it so tragic.

Earlier, before this stupid commercial did you say you needed help with something?

Oh yeah, can you help me download some pictures? I tried to figure it out, but something is zipped up.

You don't know what that is?

I can't believe you asked me that! We've been together 30 years, and you're still asking stupid questions, Whoever said there's no such thing as a stupid question was an idiot.

I can't believe I asked it either. OK, let me show you how to unzip the file then you can download the pictures. 

Paul unzips the file. 

Do you know how to download the pictures?

Yes, I do know how to do that.

OK, I'm going back to read my book, it's terrific.

I download pictures.

Where the hell did they go? I better try it again. Where are they? Maybe I'll try the EPCOT file instead. Where did they go? OK, Animal Kingdom will work, nope, Hollywood Studios? Hmmm. Let me start over with the Magic Kingdom again. OK, it's not working.

Paul, can you come here, please?

You didn't know how to download them, did you?

I did know how to download them, I didn't know how to find them once I did. I don't think the pictures are there.

Where?

I don't know where that's why I called you.

OK, let me explain it to you.

Paul explaining...

Random thoughts going through my mind...

I wonder if Ethel Merman had any other hits besides that Roses song? When he's through gibber jabbering maybe I'll Google it. Ethel, that's such a horrible name. Oooh, almost forgot to nod and say uh huh. Kids these days have no idea how good they've got it. We had to look everything up in an encyclopedia. Computers are amazing when I first started working on a computer we had to worry about baud rates. I wonder what a baud is, I'll Google it later. I need to get cat food. Nod, say uh huh. Dear Lord, he's still going. I bet he's telling me about the computer he worked on in college that was as tall as the Empire State Building, took up 3 blocks, and needed some sort of cards. I've heard that one a million times. 

Are you even listening?

What? Oh yeah, I sure am.

What was the last thing I said?

Listening.

Heavy sigh. Well, you had a really far off look like you weren't paying attention.

No, I'm really interested in whatever it is you're talking about. I guess I got distracted by the way your beautiful eyes light up when you're excited about a topic.

OK, as long as you're listening I'll carry on. 

Whew, that was a close one! Gosh, this man can talk. I wonder how much mall Santa's make. I'll Google that later too. He's taking longer to explain this than I did taking the pictures. Maybe I'll take guitar lessons. How did Cinderella's shoe fall off? It fit when she put it on, feet swell during the day, especially after dancing, so they should have been too tight. Oh crap. He might have said something important. What did he say? Crap. I think he said, something about saving as and renaming. What am I renaming? The file I guess, I'm sure you don't have to change the name of every picture, that would be stupid. So, what do I do? If I show my confused face will he start all over at the beginning or will he just get to the stuff that I need to know? Hmm. Probably shouldn't risk it. I'll pretend like I know what I'm doing.

Two hours later...

Paul, can you come in here, please?

You've been in here a long time, you must be about finished.

Well, about that...

You didn't listen to a thing I said, did you?

It's possible I missed a couple of things. I really wanted to pay attention, but I have xerostomia.

You don't even...nevermind.