What to say...

Katy asked me a couple of weeks ago if I regretted voting for Trump. I guess the honest answer is yes. I'm not going to discuss the reasons that I voted for him and the reasons that I would NEVER vote for Secretary Clinton, that ship has long ago sailed. I wish that I had written in my hero Condoleezza Rice even though it would have been a throw away vote. Realistically, my Trump vote was a throw away vote even though I didn't think of that way at the time, but Secretary Clinton would be the winner, it was a sure thing, so it didn't really matter how I cast my vote. Well...

The events in Virginia have left me discouraged. I mourn the death of  Heather Heyer and commend her for her convictions and morals, and I mourn the loss of the pilots in the helicopter crash Lt. Pilot Cullen and Trooper Pilot Bates. Altogether senseless deaths.

I've blogged before about my relationship with a woman of color, Imani Williams and how she has drastically changed my perspective on racism and privilege. I've only met one other member of her family, her mom, Vincine Brown but because I consider Imani family, her family is my family. How do I look into their eyes and talk about this, and what would I even say? I'm sorry? These are words that mean next to nothing in this situation. I am sorry, ashamed, shocked, and enraged. The people that did this are NOT my sisters and brothers, and they do NOT represent who I am or how I feel, but that doesn't accomplish healing either.  These assholes hurt my family.

The question is, are these evolutionary failures emboldened because of Trump? Would this riot have happened if Clinton were President? I think the answer perhaps is yes to both. I believe the riot would happen because of the controversy over statues of Confederate leaders, although it's possible that it would have been a more peaceful gathering.

Situations exist that shaped us as a country, three of the most important (in my opinion) are our fight for independence, slavery, and the Civil War. These happened. They cannot be erased from our history, nor should they be. The struggles and sacrifices for freedom that were made for people of color need to be remembered by all. Even though it's a heinous event in our past, in my opinion, it can't be forgotten. However, if we erase this history and destroy statues of these men, how do we explain Dr. Martin Luther King? If you erase this past and erase slavery, then Dr. King's and all other civil activists at that time are not essential, their stories don't happen. We can't erase one without the other. Tearing these statues down is a step in expunging a major part of our history, and I don't think it should happen. Yes, I'm white and cannot relate to these feelings that people of color must overcome. It's how I feel though and hopefully people of color can respectfully agree or disagree with my opinion.

April 15, 2018, Katy my eldest daughter is marrying a wonderful man that I love dearly. We have bonded with his family and eagerly look forward to this union. Jared and his family are Jewish. When I saw those neo-nazis and their heil Hitler signs, I felt sick to my stomach. Again, I can't relate to a situation where vile "people" attempted to exterminate an entire race. I cannot comprehend this level of hatred. Also dismaying was the number of young people participating and exhibiting their malice. How on earth can you possibly be filled with so much hate? These assholes hurt my family.

Much of history is painful and so many have died to make positive changes in our society, and it would be wonderful if we could erase all of the bad things. We can't, we simply can't.

This song is actually about protecting our planet but I think it complements my message.

So I won't bend and I won't break

I won't water down my faith

I won't compromise in a world of desperation

What has been I cannot change

But for tomorrow and today

I must be a light for future generations

If we could find a way to preserve our faith

So those who follow us

See the price that was paid

Then maybe when they question

What it's gonna take to survive

They'll find the strength to carry on

In what we leave behind

4Him

"For Future Generations"

The Ride

Benson, 1994

Uncle Louis

I've mentioned before that when I married Paul I hit the in-law jackpot, but that also included extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc...

One of those people was Uncle Louis. Louis was a man that you liked as soon as you met him. He had a charming smile, an easy laugh, and a kind heart; all of which you could sense immediately.

He had a playful side too, once when Amelia spent the week with Aunt Hulda and Uncle Louis, Amelia and Louis were playing on the treadmill in the basement. Aunt Hulda came down to scold them for playing on it, but as soon as she was upstairs, they resumed their antics. I can imagine the twinkle in his eyes and the mischievous grin on his face!

Every time I saw him, he would ask me how my mother was doing. The first time he asked I said, "She's ok." He asked me what that meant. "Uh, you know, she's fine." To this, he said, "I don't know what you mean by that, it seems rather vague." I realized that he genuinely wanted to know how Mom was doing. Usually, people ask questions like that, and they don't pay attention to the answer. Not Uncle Louis, he truly wanted to know about mom. When I was with him, I could tell him the truth about Mom. He was a great listener. Listening is a lost art, but a compassionate, caring individual will take the time to listen. He was that person, and when you spoke with him, he focused on you and made you feel special.

I lost my dad 15 years ago, so I know what it's like to lose a father. Uncle Louis and Aunt Hulda had 3 kids, Cheryl, Debbie, and Wayne. I don't know the perspective of a son losing their dad, but I can relate well to a girl losing her father.

Our dads are our protectors. They are smarter than anyone, they are our teachers, they're more lenient than Mom, they can do no wrong, they mend toys and broken hearts. They banish the monsters under the bed and relocate any bugs that infiltrate our room. They are our forever heroes. Many times we honor our fathers by marrying men that are similar to our dad, I know that's what I did.

Aunt Hulda, you married an amazing man, Cheryl, Debbie, and Wayne, how fortunate you were to call him Dad.

Goodbye Uncle Louis, I wish I could have known you longer, but I love you, and I will always think of you fondly.