Mom, Do You Love Me?

When Katy was little my mother-in-law bought her a book entitled 'Mama, Do You Love Me?' and it quickly became our favorite. I loved reading it to both girls and it was the first book Katy could "read" herself - she memorized it. The book was written by Barbara M. Joosse and it's about a little girl challenging her mom with difficult situations in order to prove her mom's unconditional love. It's a real treasure of a book that I love to this day.  With Katy's engagement, I thought I would change things up a bit for "our" story.

 Mom, Do You Love Me? the Latham way

Mom, do you love me?

Yes I do Dear One.

How much?

I love you more than my autographed Dirk jersey, more than the 2011 Mavericks, even more than Elvis.

How long?

I'll love you until the Rangers win the World Series, until Pete Rose is inducted into the Hall of Fame, and until Donald Trump becomes President.

Mom, he's already President.

Oh dear, well as Meat Loaf says 2 out of 3 ain't bad.    

Mom, what if I took your autographed Dirk jersey camping, and I tried to be careful, and I tried to hang on to it, but I slipped and it fell into the campfire?

WHAT? Why do you have my Dirk jersey? Camping? You hate to camp, it fell into the campfire? Are you kidding me? I'd be madder than hell is what I would be.

Mom, you aren't doing it right and you said that you loved me more than the Dirk jersey.

Well that was before you turned into a clumsy thief.

It's supposed to be something you cherish so you can show that you love me unconditionally. 

I cherish your dad, take him, I bet you can't drop HIM into a campfire.

Mom. Do it like the book.

In the book the kid broke ptarmigan eggs, she didn't drop her mom's Dirk jersey into a raging inferno. The mom can go buy more eggs, I can't get another autographed Dirk jersey, do you realize how many kids I had to shove out of the way to get him to sign it? I've got a Mike Modono jersey that isn't signed, take that.

Mom.

       

OK. Then I would be sorry. But still, I would love you.

What if I took the Modono jersey too?

Then, Dear One, I would be very angry. But still, I would love you. The kid in the book was never this bad. 

What if I said that Tony Romo was a better quarterback than Roger Staubach, that Aretha Franklin wasn't the Queen of Soul, and that Elvis was fat and never had any talent?

Then I would question my parenting skills but still I would love you.

What if I became a 2006 Heat fan?

Then I would be worried.

What if I got a LeBron jersey, a Wade jersey, and a Bosch jersey and wore one of them every time I saw you?

Then, Dear One, I would be very sad. But still, I would love you.

What if I turned into a Yankees fan?

Then I would be surprised (and disgusted.)

What if I said I didn't know who Nolan Ryan was?

Then I would be surprised and a little scared and would question my life choices.

What if I started dating a guy from Iowa, that was a Cubs and a Bulls fan, and I started wearing Cubs and Bulls baseball caps?

I don't know, how big is his farm and is it MJ Bulls or current Bulls?

Mom, not everyone in Iowa is a farmer and I don't know what Michael Jackson has to do with anything. 

OK. For real she knows who Jordan is, I'm not THAT bad of a parent.

Underneath the caps, you would be you, and I would love you.

Mom, what if I told you I loved him and wanted to marry him?

You want to marry this guy? 

You sure he doesn't have a farm? Has he always been a Cubs fan or did he climb on the bandwagon after they broke the curse?

Never a farmer, always a Cubs fan.

Then, if you love him, I will love him too.

There is nothing that you can EVER do to make me stop loving you.

Even if I burned the Dirk jersey?

Even then. I will love you forever and for always, because you are my Dear One.