Light bulbs and more...

Light bulbs. Pretty simple right? Yeah, you would think so but...not so much. Do you have ANY idea how many options there are for light bulbs? I bought 2 lamps today. Took me about 15 minutes to find the lamps that I wanted and then it took me 35 MINUTES to find the light bulbs. There are regular (incandescent) bulbs (I think they might be illegal now except for Texas where we don't put up with bullshit regulations for light bulbs), CFL's, and LED's. I won't go into the description for these - you can look that crazy business up and I don't understand it anyway but let me just say that the top of the line light bulb costs WAY more than the plain old light bulb. Want bright light, soft light,warm light, Bud lite, daylight? I finally gave in and bought one LED and one CFL (even though they apparently have boron, mercury, krypton, are radioactive and a fire hazard,and can cause electromagnetic interference I live on the edge.) The LED says it should last 22.8 years. You know what, I'm keeping my receipt.

The light bulb aisle

Q: How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb? 

A: We choose not to make a statement of either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb however, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way,long-lived, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ.

Today I went through the drive thru at the bank. Typically choosing the drive thru indicates that you don't have time or don't want to enter the branch. It might mean that you are in a bit of a hurry. Today, I was in a bit of a hurry and needed some cash. My debit card expired so I knew the ATM wouldn't work thus the drive thru option. I sent the tube with my DL and expired card. I explain about the card expiring, she verifies my bona fides and then the following conversation ensues:

T: Would you like to come in and get a new card?
Me: No, I don't have time right now.
T: It only takes about 10 minutes.
Me: Sorry, maybe later.
T: Do you want to make an appointment?
Me: No.
T: Sometimes it gets busy and you have to wait.
Me: OK, but I don't have time right now, maybe later.
T: Do you live in a home?
Me: Excuse me?
T: A house, do you live in a house?
Me: Yes. (in my head I'm thinking WTH?)
T: Do you want to refinance your house?
Me: No.
T: How about remodeling? Do you want to come in and see about getting a home improvement loan?
Me: No. (in my head - well, I won't even tell you - I'm sure you can guess)
T: Our rates are very competitive.
Me: I'm sure they are. I just really only have time to get cash today (barely.)

I understand the art of the upsell but this wasn't a "do you want fries with that" kind of upsell. I was in the drive thru just wanting cash. Why in the hell are you asking me these ridiculous questions. I know it's not her fault. Some paper pusher in corporate thought this would be a great way to get people to refinance their homes and came up with a script that everyone had to go through before money could be dispensed. The ATM probably has extra prompts on it now asking the same questions. Sometimes stuff just doesn't make any sense at all. It does however explain why it takes so long to get through the drive thru these days!