I woke up this morning with bite marks on my ankles, no you sickos Paul didn't make them and they weren't bug bites, they were actual bite marks. Princess Willa has a KING size bed and if you happen to move your foot in front of her teeth she will bite you. It's not pleasant.
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| That look says it all. |
I have a necklace that is my late mother-in-law's fingerprint that I wear daily, even if I'm not leaving the house. I used to leave it on the dresser at night but the aforementioned cat would steal it. I do love the word aforementioned - I don't use it enough and I also love the word capricious. I rarely use it - instead I use the more common synonym - shit head. Speaking of words I love - one of my favorites is "point." Yes, point. If you are on a computer keyboard (not your phone or tablet) type the word point and see if it's not the most fun you will have while typing! Anyway, now I leave it in Paul's cuff link box because so far she hasn't figured out how to open that to steal jewelry. Yes, she's a cat and she steals, she's a cat burglar. This morning the box was gone and I went in to full on panic mode. Of course, I knew that it was here, but there was a tiny amount of fear until I found it. You can see the necklace in the ridiculous pictures below.
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| That faraway look that says, "I don't know what the hell I'm doing." |
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| This is the necklace. |
I have no idea how to take selfies. I mean I understand how to work the camera but I don't know where to look. Thus we play the count the chins and what is she looking at game. Do y'all remember when I was stick figure skinny and I could eat anything I wanted and never gain weight? I miss those days so much.
I went to the doctor today and girls, I know you know what I'm talking about! I get up and I've got 45 minutes until my appointment and I need to pee. What to do? You never know if they will need a urine sample. Should I go ahead and pee, drink a lot of water on the way and hope I can go if they need it, or do I wait? If I wait what if I'm in an accident? Or worse, what if I cough or sneeze? Such a dilemma.
When Katy was around 4 the doctor needed a urine sample. I took her to the bathroom and told her she needed to pee in the cup. Oh my. She started crying and saying (loudly), "cups aren't for peeing, they're for drinking!" She had a point point point - (that never gets old!) Needless to say, no urine sample was obtained and when I went to tell the nurse that we failed she said, "I know, I heard!"
I almost had a wreck today because a lady waved at me when I let her merge in front of me, the gesture was so shocking I almost ran off the road. Later, I was next to someone that honked the second the light turned green because the people in front of him didn't immediately hit the gas and go. As God as my witness do that to me and you've got a good 5-10 seconds before I think about moving my foot from the brake to the accelerator and those seconds are going to feel like a lifetime when you're an asshole. If you can't wait even a second before you lay on that horn then you need to leave earlier or stay home. You should probably have your blood pressure checked before you stroke out while driving. You're a menace. You're a capricious, aforementioned, jackass. I believe I've made my point point point.
